Nikki Glaser opened the 82nd Golden Globes with a joke about Ozempic, then roamed from Hollywood politics to Wicked, Challengers and the celebrities in the room. The ceremony took place on January 5, 2025; Glaser was the first woman to solo host its televised broadcast. Here are the monologue’s standout bits, with their setups and targets in context. [Golden Globes]
How Glaser set the tone
Glaser began by calling the ceremony “Ozempic’s biggest night,” a topical opening that immediately established the set as a roast. It was a quick line rather than an extended bit, but it announced the monologue’s approach: familiar Hollywood references, aimed at the room and delivered with a light touch. The official Golden Globes video is the best way to hear the timing and audience response; the transcript can help locate the lines, but should not be treated as a substitute for the performance.
| # | Preview | Product | Price | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |
|
JIM GAFFIGAN STAND UP COMEDY COLLECTION | $6.38 | Buy on Amazon |
| 2 |
|
Eddie Murphy - Delirious | $18.66 | Buy on Amazon |
| 3 |
|
Robin Williams: Live On Broadway | $11.89 | Buy on Amazon |
| 4 |
![Best of Dry Bar Comedy: Volume 1 [DVD] 2025 – 4-Disc Collection – 16 Hilarious Family-Friendly Comedians – 8 Hours of Clean Stand-Up Comedy+ Bonus Podcast Extras](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41tm3xCOqCL._SL160_.jpg)
|
Best of Dry Bar Comedy: Volume 1 [DVD] 2025 – 4-Disc Collection – 16 Hilarious Family-Friendly... | $14.99 | Buy on Amazon |
| 5 |
|
Blue Collar Comedy Tour - The Movie | $8.15 | Buy on Amazon |
The room’s power—and its limits
Glaser acknowledged the celebrities’ fame and influence, then punctured the compliment with a political jab: for all their power, she joked, they could not tell the country who to vote for. The joke turns celebrity influence into its own punchline, rather than making a claim about any one person’s political views.
Wicked, Joker 2 and the audience experience
One of the clearest bits built on a contrast between two films. Glaser noted that some moviegoers complained about people singing along during Wicked, then juxtaposed that with the sounds and images of Joker: Folie à Deux—and the sequel’s absence from the room. The laugh comes from switching the complaint from an audience’s behavior to the movie itself, before landing on the awkward fact that the film was not represented among the guests.
Quick wins for a faster PC:
Fix the driver behind crashes, sound loss and screen glitchesFind Drivers →Clear out junk files and repair common Windows errorsFree Scan →#1 Best Overall
Celebrity jokes built for the room
Zendaya and Challengers
Glaser praised Zendaya’s performances, then made a deliberately provocative comparison, saying Challengers was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card. That is a roast punchline, not a factual assertion about the film or the cardholder; its setup is Glaser’s praise for Zendaya and the film’s charged reputation.
Timothée Chalamet and Adam Sandler
Glaser said Chalamet’s name sounded like something Adam Sandler might say in a character voice, then invited Sandler to say it. The joke depends on the delivery and Sandler’s presence, so it works best in the video rather than as a line read on the page.
Rank #2
- Factory sealed DVD
Harrison Ford’s one-word answer
Glaser posed a choice between working with Zendaya or Ariana Grande. Ford answered “Indica,” turning the question into a weed-related wordplay gag. The punchline is the abruptness of the answer as much as the pun.
Glen Powell and Benny Blanco
Glaser’s joke about Glen Powell used his busy year on screen as the setup for a suggestive personal punchline. Benny Blanco, meanwhile, was framed as being in the room because a genie had granted a wish. Both bits are short celebrity roasts: one pivots from a performer’s visibility to innuendo, while the other teases Blanco’s presence through a fantasy premise.
Rank #3
- DVD
- Multiple Formats, Color, Dolby
- English (Original Language), English (Unknown)
- 1
- 305
The closer: art, success and tequila
Glaser ended by reframing the dream of artistic success: the ideal outcome, she joked, would be creating a popular tequila brand so you never had to make art again. Vanity Fair identified it as the monologue’s closing joke. Its target is the familiar ambition to make meaningful work, with commercial success recast as an excuse to stop. [Vanity Fair’s joke roundup]
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Why the roast stayed audience-conscious
Glaser later said she wanted jokes viewers at home and guests in the room could understand, and that she wanted the material to be funny without being too mean or creating embarrassment. That stated aim helps explain the monologue’s mix of broad film references and brief personal jabs: the target is usually a recognizable premise, with the celebrity interaction supplying an extra beat. [Golden Globes interview]
Rank #4
- 4-Disc Special – 16 Comedians – 8 Hours of Stand Up Comedy + Bonus Videos
- Disc 1: Shayne Smith, Ali Sultan, Ricky Mokel, & Karen Morgan
- Disc 2: Jeff Allen, Monique Marvez, Mike E. Winfield, & Zoltan Kaszas
- Disc 3: Josh Blue, Karen Rontowski, Jeremy Alder, & J Bliss
- Disc 4: Brad Upton, Drew Thomas, Kellen Erskine, & Jose Sarduy
For the precise wording and order, consult the timestamped monologue transcript alongside the official video; transcripts can mishear a live line. The jokes are best understood as comedy, not factual allegations about the people or subjects they mention.
Quick Recap
Best Value
- DVD
- Multiple Formats, Closed-captioned, Color
- English (Subtitled), French (Subtitled), Spanish (Subtitled)
- 1
- 105
Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on Amazon at the time of purchase will apply.
