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BDSM

The Dating App Glossary: An A-to-Z Guide to Profiles, Labels, Slang and Red Flags

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Dating-app profiles often combine identity labels, relationship arrangements, sexual terminology and fast-changing internet slang. The same word can mean different things to different people, so treat this glossary as a starting point—not a universal dictionary. When a label affects consent, exclusivity or safety, ask the person what they mean in practice.

This guide reorganizes common vocabulary by function, then provides an A-to-Z index. It also separates preferences from warning signs and explains when ending contact, blocking or reporting is appropriate.

The broad vocabulary covered here appears in dating-app glossaries such as Mashable’s glossary. Language around digitally mediated dating, including ghosting, breadcrumbing and situationships, is also discussed by Gresham College: lecture page and transcript.

At a glance: ten terms you will see often

Term Meaning What to clarify
Talking stage Early getting-to-know-you period before a formal relationship label. Whether either person expects exclusivity or regular dates.
Situationship An intentionally or unintentionally undefined romantic or sexual connection. Status, boundaries and what each person wants next.
DTR “Define the relationship”: a conversation about status and expectations. Exclusivity, communication and future direction.
Ghosting Stopping communication abruptly after a connection has formed. Safety comes first; nobody owes continued contact.
Breadcrumbing Intermittent attention that maintains interest without meaningful progress. Whether actions match stated intentions.
FWB Friends with benefits: friendship or friendliness combined with sex. Safer sex, emotional expectations and whether either person is dating others.
ENM/CNM Ethical or consensual non-monogamy, with everyone informed and consenting. Existing partners, disclosure, safer sex and boundaries.
Love bombing Overwhelming attention, promises or gifts used to rush intimacy or create pressure. Whether intensity respects your pace and boundaries.
Red flag A behavior or pattern that raises concern about honesty, respect or safety. Look for repeated conduct, not a diagnosis from one incident.
Catfishing Presenting a false or substantially misleading identity online. Verify carefully without sharing money or sensitive information.

Dating stages and relationship status

Match

Two users have expressed mutual interest through an app’s matching system. A match is an opportunity to talk, not consent to sex, a date or continued contact.

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Talking stage

The informal period of messaging and perhaps meeting before people decide whether they are dating, exclusive or simply exploring compatibility. There is no universal duration.

Casual dating

Dating without a stated expectation of exclusivity or long-term commitment. “Casual” can still be honest, considerate and clearly negotiated; it does not automatically mean sex.

Situationship

An ambiguous romantic or sexual connection whose status, expectations or boundaries remain undefined. A casual connection can be clear; ambiguity is what distinguishes a situationship.

FWB (friends with benefits)

A friendship or friendly connection that includes sexual activity without necessarily being a committed romantic relationship. Discuss boundaries, safer sex, emotional changes and how either person can end it.

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ONS (one-night stand)

A sexual encounter understood by the participants as not necessarily continuing. Consent and explicit expectations still apply.

Exclusive / exclusivity

An agreement that the people involved will not pursue specified romantic or sexual connections with others. Ask what “exclusive” covers: dating, sex, apps, emotional intimacy or all of these.

DTR

“Define the relationship” means having a direct conversation about status, expectations, exclusivity and direction. Either person can initiate it.

LTR

“Long-term relationship,” usually indicating a desire for an enduring partnership rather than a short connection.

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Rebound

A new relationship or dating period that follows a breakup. The word describes timing, not a certain emotional outcome; ask what someone is ready for.

Cuffing season

A popular cultural phrase for seeking companionship or relationships during colder months. It is not a fixed biological or behavioral cycle.

Messaging and dating behavior

Ghosting, slow fading and unresponsiveness

  • Ghosting: abruptly ending communication without explanation after an established connection.
  • Slow fade: gradually reducing replies, initiative and availability.
  • Unresponsiveness: a description of missed or delayed replies, not proof of a deliberate tactic.

Someone may stop replying because they feel unsafe, are being harassed or simply choose not to continue. You do not owe an explanation before ending contact.

Breadcrumbing, orbiting, haunting and zombieing

  • Breadcrumbing: occasional flirtation or attention that keeps someone interested without clear progress.
  • Orbiting: watching, liking or reacting to someone’s social posts without directly engaging.
  • Haunting: a related pattern of quietly remaining visible online after contact has ended.
  • Zombieing: reappearing after previously disappearing or ghosting.

These are informal, overlapping labels—not clinical categories. Judge the observable pattern and decide whether it meets your needs.

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Benching

Keeping someone in intermittent contact as a backup option without making meaningful progress. Low-frequency communication is not automatically deliberate benching.

Curving

Deflecting or politely avoiding a direct invitation or question instead of giving a clear answer.

Pocketing

Keeping a dating partner separate from friends, family or public life. Privacy can be legitimate; secrecy becomes concerning when explanations conflict or the arrangement is deceptive.

Double texting

Sending another message before receiving a reply. It is neither inherently needy nor a warning sign; context and mutual communication habits matter.

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Hardballing

Stating intentions, deal-breakers or relationship goals early and directly. Clarity is useful when it leaves room for the other person’s boundaries.

Soft launch

Hinting at a new relationship on social media without fully identifying the partner, such as posting a hand or two coffee cups.

Sneaky link

A secret person or encounter, often sexual. Secrecy may be mutually chosen privacy or evidence that someone is deceiving a partner; ask rather than assume.

Flags, compatibility and pace

Green, yellow, red and beige flags

  • Green flag: conduct suggesting respect, reliability, communication or emotional safety.
  • Yellow flag: something that warrants caution, more information or slower pacing.
  • Red flag: a behavior or pattern raising serious concern about boundaries, honesty, compatibility or safety.
  • Beige flag: a mildly dull, generic or eccentric profile trait, usually used humorously.

None is a standardized diagnosis. Assess patterns, how someone responds to “no,” and whether your boundaries are respected.

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The ick

A sudden personal loss of attraction or feeling of aversion. It signals your reaction, not proof that the other person has done something wrong.

Love bombing

Intensity becomes concerning when excessive affection, gifts, promises or constant contact are used to rush commitment, create obligation, isolate you or gain control. Enthusiasm alone is not love bombing; healthy excitement can coexist with patience and respect.

Vibe check

An informal assessment of whether a person, interaction or situation feels comfortable and compatible. Treat intuition as a prompt to slow down and verify, not as evidence about someone’s identity.

Rizz

Informal slang for charm, charisma or perceived skill at attracting someone. It is highly cultural and subjective.

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Identity and attraction

Identity labels are self-descriptions, not personality tests. Do not infer anatomy, pronouns, libido, relationship goals or consent from one word.

Ace, asexual, aromantic and aspec

Asexual generally means experiencing little or no sexual attraction; it does not mean celibate, incapable of intimacy or unable to want a relationship. Aromantic describes little or no romantic attraction. Aspec is an umbrella for asexual- and aromantic-spectrum identities.

Bisexual and bi-curious

Bisexual commonly means attraction to more than one gender; attraction need not be equal, simultaneous or identical across genders. Bi-curious is an informal term for exploring or questioning attraction and is not a required step toward any identity.

Pansexual

A label for attraction that is not limited by gender. People define it differently, and it does not mean attraction to every person.

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Demisexual and fraysexual

Demisexual generally describes sexual attraction arising only after a strong emotional connection; it is not simply choosing to wait before sex. Fraysexual is used by some people for attraction that is stronger before emotional closeness develops and fades as familiarity grows.

Sapiosexual

An informal label for finding intelligence especially attractive. It is not a scientific orientation and can mean different things to different users.

Queer and questioning

Queer is a self-chosen umbrella identity for some people outside conventional heterosexual and cisgender categories. It has also been used as a slur, so never assign it to someone. Questioning indicates that a person is exploring their sexuality or gender.

Cisgender, transgender, nonbinary and genderfluid

Cisgender describes a gender identity that aligns with the sex assigned at birth. Transgender describes an identity that does not. Nonbinary is an umbrella for identities not exclusively man or woman. Genderfluid describes a gender identity that may change over time or context. Pronouns and experiences vary; ask respectfully.

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WLW

“Women loving women,” an umbrella phrase that may include lesbian, bisexual, queer and other women attracted to women.

Relationship structures

Monogamy

A relationship structure involving agreed romantic or sexual exclusivity. Couples define the boundaries differently.

ENM and CNM

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and consensual non-monogamy (CNM) describe more than one romantic or sexual connection with the knowledge and consent of everyone affected. Deception is not ethical non-monogamy.

Open relationship

A relationship in which partners have agreed that specified romantic or sexual involvement with others is permitted. Rules may cover sex, dating, disclosure, safer sex and overnight stays.

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Polyamory

Having or pursuing multiple consensual romantic relationships. It is one form of consensual non-monogamy, not a synonym for every open relationship.

Solo poly, relationship anarchy, primary and nesting partner

  • Solo poly: practicing polyamory while maintaining substantial autonomy and not organizing life around a primary couple structure.
  • Relationship anarchy: questioning default relationship hierarchies and allowing each connection to be negotiated on its own terms.
  • Primary partner: a partner given greater practical or decision-making priority in an arrangement.
  • Nesting partner: someone who shares a home with a partner.

These terms describe possibilities, not contracts. Ask how a person’s arrangement works.

Compersion

A feeling of happiness or satisfaction when a partner experiences joy with someone else, often discussed in consensual non-monogamy.

Unicorn and third

Unicorn can refer to a person—often, but not always, a bisexual woman—sought by a couple for a sexual or romantic triad. Third is another term couples may use. Both can feel objectifying when they reduce an individual to a role; discuss autonomy, consent and equal say.

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Sex and BDSM terminology

BDSM, dom, sub and switch

BDSM covers consensual bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and/or masochism. Dom/dominant and sub/submissive describe negotiated power roles; a sub is not weak or passive in everyday life. A switch may enjoy dominant and submissive roles. Consent, negotiation, safewords or other stop signals, boundaries and aftercare are essential.

Top, bottom and vers

In some sexual and LGBTQ+ contexts, a top takes an insertive or active role, a bottom a receptive role, and vers (versatile) indicates comfort with more than one role. Meanings vary. None predicts gender, personality, availability or consent.

Aftercare, GGG and sex-positive

Aftercare is physical or emotional support after an intense sexual or BDSM experience. GGG is shorthand for “good, giving and game,” but it should never be interpreted as agreeing to unwanted acts. Sex-positive generally signals a non-shaming attitude toward consensual sexuality; it does not promise availability.

Boundaries and safer sex

Boundaries specify what you will and will not do. Safer-sex conversations can include barrier use, STI testing and disclosure, contraception, vaccinations, substance use and what happens if circumstances change. A label never replaces an explicit, ongoing yes.

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Safety, fake profiles and scams

Bot, catfishing and verification

A bot is an account operated partly or entirely by software. A catfish is a person presenting a false or substantially misleading identity; a deceptive account may be human-run rather than automated. A platform’s verified badge, where available, may confirm a limited check but does not guarantee honesty, safety or compatibility.

Romance scams and sextortion

A romance scam uses a romantic pretext to seek money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, account access or intimate material. Sextortion involves threats to distribute intimate images or information unless someone complies. Never pay or send more material to stop a threat; preserve evidence and contact the platform and appropriate local authorities or support services.

Off-platform pressure

Quickly pushing you to encrypted messaging, email or another platform is not automatically malicious, but it is a warning sign when combined with secrecy, urgency, requests for money or refusal to verify identity. Keep early conversations on-platform if that feels safer.

When to block or report

  • Block when you no longer want contact; an explanation is optional.
  • Report threats, harassment, impersonation, scams, coercion, non-consensual sexual content or suspected automated abuse through the app.
  • Save screenshots, usernames, payment details and messages before blocking if you may need evidence.
  • For immediate danger, contact local emergency services or a trusted person.

How to ask what a term means

Neutral questions prevent assumptions:

  • “When you say ENM, what does that mean in practice for you?”
  • “Are you looking for something casual, exclusive or open to seeing where it goes?”
  • “When you use ‘vers,’ how do you use that term?”
  • “What communication frequency works for you?”
  • “I’m not comfortable with that pace. Can we slow down?”
  • “I don’t think we’re a match, so I’m going to end the conversation.”

Full A-to-Z glossary

A–C

  • ANR: an adult acronym whose meaning is platform- and community-specific; ask before assuming.
  • Attachment style: popular shorthand for relationship patterns; it is not a diagnosis of a stranger.
  • Bio: the profile text describing interests, identity or intentions.
  • Bottom: see the role qualification above.
  • Casual dating: see the relationship-status section.
  • Compersion: happiness about a partner’s happiness with another person.
  • Curve: indirect rejection or deflection.
  • Cis: short for cisgender.

D–H

  • Discreet: requesting privacy; clarify whether this means personal confidentiality or concealing another relationship.
  • Dry or sober dating: dating without alcohol or recreational drugs.
  • Escalation of intimacy: increasing emotional, sexual or practical closeness; it should be mutual and paced.
  • Fluid: a person may use this to describe sexuality or gender that changes; ask which.
  • Good morning/good night texts: informal shorthand for regular check-in messages.
  • Hookup: a broad, non-specific term for a sexual encounter.
  • Hypergamy: an online term often used imprecisely for seeking a partner perceived as higher status.

I–P

  • IRL: “in real life,” meaning offline.
  • Intentions: what someone hopes to find, such as a relationship, casual dating or friendship.
  • Love language: a popular framework for preferred ways of expressing or receiving care, not a scientific compatibility test.
  • Mutuals: people or social connections shared by two users.
  • NB/enby: nonbinary; use the person’s preferred term.
  • NSA: “no strings attached,” an informal request for a low-commitment sexual connection; clarify expectations.
  • Platonic: non-romantic and generally non-sexual.
  • Profile prompt: an app question used to elicit an answer or personality detail.

Q–Z

  • Quietly or discreetly dating: keeping dating private; clarify whether anyone is being deceived.
  • Rebound: dating after a breakup.
  • Sexual health: the physical, emotional and consent-related aspects of sexual activity.
  • Soft launch: a subtle public hint about a relationship.
  • Thirst trap: a deliberately attention-getting photo or post, often suggestive.
  • Trans: short for transgender.
  • Vibe check: an informal comfort or compatibility assessment.
  • WYD: “what you doing?” in text shorthand.
  • Yellow flag: a cue to slow down and learn more.
  • Zombieing: returning after disappearing.

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