In a December 2023 interview with Vogue México, Selena Gomez described wanting a connection built on self-respect, consideration for another person’s feelings, attentive listening, care and health. The remarks were published as her romance with music producer Benny Blanco had just become public; she did not name him in the passage about her priorities.
What Selena Gomez said she wants in a relationship
Gomez’s answer was about both whom she felt drawn to and the kind of connection she hoped to find. Vogue México framed her as seeking a “very special connection” that includes self-respect and room for other people’s feelings. The original article is in Spanish: Vogue México’s December 21, 2023 cover interview.
In its English-language coverage of that interview, Marie Claire rendered Gomez’s remarks this way: “Honestly, I have to start being attracted to the right kind of people, because it’s a bit of both. It’s very hard to find someone who can listen to you and care about you, but I know when it happens it will be great, and you will want it to be healthy.” This is Marie Claire’s English rendering of the interview, not a verbatim English quote from the Spanish-language Vogue México article. Read Marie Claire’s report.
The qualities she named
- Self-respect: Her description of a special connection included respect for oneself.
- Consideration: She wanted space for the other person’s feelings, not a relationship focused on only one side.
- Listening and care: She called it difficult to find someone who would listen and care about her.
- Health: She hoped the connection, when it came, would be healthy.
These were Gomez’s personal priorities in that interview, not a universal checklist or relationship prescription.
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How her comments fit with her earlier remarks
Gomez had spoken about partner qualities in a separate interview months earlier. In an August 31, 2023 report on her SiriusXM Hits 1 LA appearance, The Independent quoted her saying she wanted someone nice who would make her laugh and treat her family and people around her well. She also said she had standards and that some boys confused standards with being high-maintenance. The report described her as single and enjoying being on her own at that time. The Independent’s report on the SiriusXM interview.
| Date and interview | Qualities she discussed |
|---|---|
| August 2023, SiriusXM Hits 1 LA interview | Kindness, humor, and how a partner treats her family and people around her. |
| December 2023, Vogue México cover interview | Self-respect, consideration for another person’s feelings, listening, care and a healthy connection. |
The comments are related, but they came from different conversations and should not be combined into a single quote.
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What the timing does—and does not—tell us
The December interview appeared as Gomez’s romance with Blanco had just become public, but the priorities passage does not identify him as the person she was discussing. Later coverage provides a separate point in the timeline: TIME quoted Gomez on May 29, 2024, reflecting on being alone and on Blanco not being her only source of happiness. On December 12, 2024, the Associated Press reported that she announced her engagement to Blanco on Instagram with the caption “Forever begins now.” Those later events add context; they do not change what she said in the 2023 interview. TIME’s 2024 profile; Associated Press report on the engagement.
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