Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd’s relationship began with charity-related phone calls, developed gradually into a romantic partnership, and grew into a marriage, family, creative collaboration, and shared philanthropic life. They connected in 2009 while Shepherd was coordinating charitable work for Paul McCartney, met in person in 2010, became engaged in 2012, and married that September.
The timeline below separates publicly documented dates from details that come primarily from Carlile’s later recollections, memoir, and secondary reporting. It also avoids adding private information about the couple’s daughters beyond what the family has made public.
Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd’s relationship timeline
| Date | Milestone |
|---|---|
| 2009 | Carlile and Shepherd first connected by telephone while Shepherd was coordinating charitable activities for Paul McCartney. |
| 2010 | The commonly reported chronology places their first in-person meeting in 2010, after roughly a year of phone conversations. |
| June 2012 | Carlile publicly announced their engagement. |
| September 15, 2012 | They married in Wareham, Massachusetts. |
| February 2013 | Carlile later described a civil wedding ceremony in England, Shepherd’s home country. |
| June 2014 | Their first daughter, Evangeline Ruth, was born. |
| January 2017 | The couple attended a farewell event for President Barack Obama at the White House. |
| March 2018 | They welcomed their second daughter, Elijah. |
| February 2019 | Shepherd attended the Grammy Awards as Carlile received major recognition for By the Way, I Forgive You, including for “The Joke.” |
| April 2021 | Carlile published Broken Horses: A Memoir, which discusses her life, sexuality, faith, music career, parenthood, and raising two children with Shepherd. |
| October 2021 | In an official Howard Stern interview, Carlile recalled the moment she realized she had fallen in love with Shepherd. |
| October 2022 | Shepherd joined Carlile for a duet of “You and Me on the Rock” filmed for the concert film Brandi Carlile: In the Canyon Haze — Live from Laurel Canyon. |
| February 2023 | Shepherd and the couple’s daughters introduced Carlile at the Grammy Awards before her performance of “Broken Horses.” |
| February 2024 | Carlile and Shepherd attended the Grammy Awards together and appeared on the red carpet holding hands. |
| 2024–2026 | The Looking Out Foundation’s current materials list Catherine Carlile as chair and identify Brandi Carlile as chair within the foundation’s board structure. |
2009: A connection through charitable work
Carlile and Shepherd first connected in 2009 while Shepherd was working as a charity coordinator for Paul McCartney. Their relationship did not begin with an immediate face-to-face meeting. According to the chronology repeated in later coverage, the two initially spoke by phone and remained in contact for some time.
That origin is important because it places the beginning of their story in a professional and philanthropic setting rather than in the music industry’s usual celebrity-social circuit. Howard Stern’s official account confirms Shepherd’s work with McCartney and the broader sequence in which the pair knew each other before becoming romantically involved.
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2010: Their first in-person meeting
The commonly reported timeline places Carlile and Shepherd’s first in-person meeting in 2010, after approximately a year of telephone conversations. The exact day and venue are not established by the strongest primary material available, so it is more accurate to say that they met in person that year than to attach a specific location or date.
Carlile’s later recollections also make clear that the transition from friendship or professional connection to romance was gradual. The timeline should not be read as evidence that they began dating on the exact day they first met face to face.
June 2012: Engagement
Carlile announced her engagement to Shepherd in June 2012. The announcement came shortly before Washington voters approved Referendum 74, the measure that legalized same-sex marriage in the state.
The timing provides useful legal and social context for the couple’s public story, but the referendum should not be presented as the cause of their engagement. Their engagement was announced before the November 2012 vote, and their wedding plans unfolded across more than one ceremony and location.
September 15, 2012: Marriage in Massachusetts
Carlile and Shepherd married on September 15, 2012, in Wareham, Massachusetts. Multiple relationship timelines and biographical accounts report that date.
Later descriptions of the couple’s wedding celebrations also refer to a larger party near Seattle. Some coverage describes the pair as holding two September ceremonies, including the Massachusetts wedding and a celebration near Seattle. The Seattle-area event is often remembered as a particularly meaningful celebration, but it should not replace the reported Massachusetts marriage date.
February 2013: A civil ceremony in England
In February 2013, Carlile and Shepherd held a civil wedding ceremony in England, Shepherd’s home country. Carlile later described this ceremony through her own public writing and memoir.
This was an additional ceremony and should not be interpreted as proof that the Massachusetts marriage was invalid, incomplete, or somehow not the couple’s wedding. It reflected the importance of Shepherd’s British background and gave the couple another opportunity to celebrate their marriage with family or connections in England.
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June 2014: Welcoming their first daughter
The couple’s first daughter, Evangeline Ruth, was born in June 2014. Some secondary biographical listings give June 15 as the exact birth date, but the better-supported formulation for a careful timeline is simply “June 2014.”
Carlile’s later writing about parenthood describes the significance of becoming mothers and the way family life became part of the couple’s shared story. Public reporting identifies the family as living and raising their children in Washington, but private details about the children’s daily lives do not belong in a relationship timeline.
January 2017: A White House appearance
In January 2017, Carlile and Shepherd attended a farewell event for President Barack Obama at the White House. The appearance was a visible milestone in their shared public life, but it was not a turning point in the relationship itself.
It is best understood as one of the occasional public events at which the couple appeared together, rather than as evidence about their private political activities or family routines.
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Carlile and Shepherd welcomed their second daughter, Elijah, in March 2018. Howard Stern’s official 2018 coverage confirmed that Carlile and Catherine were parents to Evangeline and a newborn child named Elijah; later reporting consistently describes Elijah as their second daughter.
With the birth of their second child, the couple’s public narrative increasingly included the practical realities of parenthood alongside Carlile’s recording, touring, and awards career.
February 2019: Shepherd supports Carlile at the Grammys
Shepherd attended the 61st Grammy Awards in February 2019, when Carlile received major awards connected with By the Way, I Forgive You, including recognition for “The Joke.”
The appearance is a useful example of Shepherd’s visible support during an important career moment. It should not be inflated into a claim that Shepherd managed Carlile’s awards campaign or played a formally documented role in the album’s success.
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April 2021: Carlile publishes Broken Horses
Brandi Carlile’s memoir, Broken Horses: A Memoir, was published in April 2021. The publisher describes the book as covering Carlile’s childhood and career as well as her sexuality, faith, parenthood, and experience raising two children with her wife, Catherine Shepherd.
For readers who want Carlile’s own account rather than a compressed celebrity timeline, Broken Horses: A Memoir is the most directly relevant book. It is Carlile’s memoir—not a jointly written relationship book by Carlile and Shepherd—so its perspective is primarily Carlile’s.
October 2021: Carlile describes realizing she was in love
In an official Howard Stern interview published October 5, 2021, Carlile described the moment she realized her feelings for Shepherd had changed. She recalled Shepherd visiting her tour bus after they had known each other for some time and said that she became immediately infatuated.
This is a first-person recollection of an emotional realization, not a definitive dating start date. Carlile’s account helps explain the emotional arc behind the chronology: the relationship developed over time, and the recognition of romantic feelings came after an established connection.
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A Los Angeles Times profile published in October 2021 described Shepherd as Carlile’s wife and reported that they shared two daughters. Georgia Public Broadcasting likewise described the couple as raising two daughters in Washington.
These accounts support the broad family timeline, but they do not justify adding details about the children’s schools, routines, locations, or other private matters. The family has made their names and occasional public appearances known; that is different from inviting comprehensive coverage of their private lives.
October 2022: A musical collaboration
Shepherd joined Carlile for a duet of “You and Me on the Rock,” filmed for the IMAX concert film Brandi Carlile: In the Canyon Haze — Live from Laurel Canyon.
The song has particular relationship significance. Grammy coverage has described it as a love song about the life Carlile built with her wife. Shepherd’s appearance therefore connects the couple’s personal story with Carlile’s public creative work, while still remaining a specific collaboration rather than evidence that Shepherd became a recording artist or regular touring partner.
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February 2023: Shepherd and the children introduce Carlile at the Grammys
At the 2023 Grammy Awards, Shepherd and the couple’s children introduced Carlile onstage before her performance of “Broken Horses.” It was one of the family’s most visible public appearances together.
The moment showed family support at a major professional event, but a televised presentation should not be used to draw conclusions about the family’s everyday routines or parenting arrangements.
February 2024: A joint red-carpet appearance
Carlile and Shepherd attended the 2024 Grammy Awards together and were photographed holding hands on the red carpet. The appearance supports the narrower, accurate conclusion that they continued to make occasional joint public appearances through 2024.
It does not establish that the couple attends every event together or that their public visibility represents the full nature of their relationship.
2024–2026: Shared philanthropic work
Philanthropy remains one of the clearest threads connecting Carlile and Shepherd’s public lives. The Looking Out Foundation’s current About Us materials list Catherine Carlile as chair and Brandi Carlile as chair within the foundation’s board structure. The foundation says it seeks to amplify music’s impact through grants, community engagement, and partnerships.
Older coverage sometimes describes Shepherd as the foundation’s executive director. That is not the current title listed on the foundation’s official page: current materials identify Gloria Goeres as executive director and Catherine Carlile as chair. Present-tense descriptions should follow the current official listing rather than repeating the older role.
Readers interested in the couple’s public philanthropic work can learn more about the Looking Out Foundation through its official materials. A donation or partnership is a charitable action, not an affiliate product recommendation.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.What the timeline shows
The documented arc is one of gradual change rather than a sudden celebrity romance. Carlile and Shepherd first connected through charitable work, maintained a relationship by phone, and met in person the following year. Their engagement and marriage followed in 2012, with an additional civil ceremony in England in 2013. Parenthood, music, public appearances, and philanthropy then became overlapping parts of their lives.
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Carlile’s own accounts add an important emotional qualification to the dates. She has described recognizing her love for Shepherd only after they had already known each other for some time. That distinction matters: a timeline can record when people connected, met, married, and became parents, but it cannot reduce the emotional development of a long partnership to one confirmed “start” date.
Names and public records
Historical relationship coverage generally refers to Catherine as Catherine Shepherd. Current Looking Out Foundation materials identify her as Catherine Carlile. This article uses “Catherine Shepherd” in the historical timeline and “Catherine Carlile” when discussing her current official foundation listing.
The couple’s daughters are publicly named in the cited reporting, but no additional personal details are necessary to understand the relationship timeline.
For fans who want to explore Carlile’s work
Carlile’s official store offers physical music, books, vinyl, CDs, posters, apparel, and tour merchandise, including material associated with albums such as The Story and In These Silent Days. These are artist-adjacent products rather than relationship-specific items, so they are best viewed as optional keepsakes for fans rather than essential reading for this timeline. Availability can change by region and release.
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When did Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd first meet?
They first connected by telephone in 2009 while Catherine Shepherd was coordinating charitable work for Paul McCartney. Secondary timelines generally place their first in-person meeting in 2010. The precise day and location are not firmly established by the strongest primary sources.
When did Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd get married?
They married on September 15, 2012, in Wareham, Massachusetts. Carlile later also described a civil ceremony in England in February 2013, Shepherd’s home country.
How many children do Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd have?
They have two daughters, Evangeline Ruth, born in June 2014, and Elijah, born in March 2018.
Does Catherine Shepherd still work with the Looking Out Foundation?
Current Looking Out Foundation materials list her as Catherine Carlile and identify her as chair. Older coverage used the title executive director, but the foundation’s current official listing names Gloria Goeres as executive director.
Is Broken Horses a joint memoir by Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd?
No. Broken Horses: A Memoir is Carlile’s memoir. It includes her perspective on parenthood, family life, sexuality, faith, and raising two children with Shepherd, but it is not co-written by the couple.
The Bottom Line
Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd’s story is a long-form partnership: a 2009 charity-related connection became a 2010 in-person relationship, a 2012 marriage, a family with two daughters, and a shared public life spanning music, philanthropy, and occasional appearances together.
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