Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. dated in the 1990s, when they were also working in film together. The relationship ended, but they remained close friends, according to a 2017 interview with Tomei. Years later, Downey recommended her for Aunt May in the Marvel films, and they shared a flirtatious scene in Captain America: Civil War. Reliable reporting does not establish exactly when or why they broke up.
They dated while their film careers overlapped
In a 2017 interview for The Guardian, journalist Michael Hogan describes Downey as Tomei’s “then boyfriend” during her 1990s film work. The account says their relationship did not last, but their close friendship did. The Guardian’s interview with Marisa Tomei places the relationship in the context of that period, rather than giving a precise dating timeline.
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Their shared screen credits include Chaplin (1992) and Only You (1994), which Biography.com’s profile of Tomei lists among their work together. Those release years identify the films, not the start or end dates of the relationship.
What is known about the breakup?
The available accounts establish that the relationship ended and that the two remained close friends. They do not establish an exact breakup date, how long the relationship lasted, or a reason for the split. Specific month-by-month timelines circulating on relationship-aggregator sites are not substantiated by the reliable reporting cited here, so they should not be treated as verified facts.
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How they worked together again in Marvel films
Downey later recommended Tomei for the role of Aunt May. Tomei told Hogan that Downey recommended her and that they had “a flirtatious little scene together in Captain America: Civil War,” adding that having a familiar face around made her more comfortable. This describes her casting and an on-screen moment; it is not evidence that their past romance resumed.
Downey also joked publicly about a possible romance between their Marvel characters. That was banter about fictional characters, not a claim about the actors’ private relationship.
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Best Value
- A large family struggles to assemble for their annual Christmas dinner, along the way each family member is reminded of why the holidays are so important.
Rank #4
- DVD
- Multiple Formats, AC-3, Color
- Spanish (Subtitled), English (Original Language), English (Unknown)
- 1
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Rank #3
- Factory sealed DVD
Rank #2
What the record does—and does not—show
- Reported personal history: They dated in the 1990s, the relationship ended, and their friendship continued.
- Documented professional overlap: They appeared in films including Chaplin and Only You, and later had a Marvel connection through Tomei’s casting as Aunt May.
- Not established: The exact dating dates, breakup date, relationship duration, or reason it ended.
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