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The Onion at 25: 25 Favorite Headlines from Its 2013 Anniversary

The Onion’s 25th anniversary brought a personal selection of favorite headlines, from mock-serious news reports to absurd one-line social satire.
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The Onion marked its 25th anniversary in August 2013, and a contemporary roundup collected 25 favorite headlines to celebrate. The selection is a personal list, not an official ranking—and the available text does not reproduce all 25 entries in full. Here are some of the headlines that show why the publication’s straight-faced approach to absurdity has endured.

What the 25th-anniversary roundup represents

The Byronic Man published “25 Of The Onion’s Best Headlines, For Their 25th Anniversary” on August 30, 2013. Its author presented the headlines as personal favorites and acknowledged that many others could have made the list. It is best read as one fan’s anniversary selection, not as an official or definitive ranking.

The accessible text of that roundup does not show all 25 entries in full, so a complete list cannot be reliably reproduced here. Several examples from the anniversary coverage and a Guardian reader thread nevertheless illustrate the style.

Headlines that turn news language toward the absurd

The Onion’s joke often comes from preserving the calm, declarative tone of a news report while describing something implausible, petty, or painfully recognizable. The Guardian characterized the publication as making frustrating and complex events silly, and invited readers to name their favorite headline in its August 29, 2013 open thread.

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The anniversary selection also includes “Study: 72 Percent Of High-Fives Unwarranted.” The percentage is part of the satirical headline; it is not evidence of an actual study or a real statistic.

How The Onion reached its 25th anniversary

The Week’s retrospective reports that University of Wisconsin–Madison juniors Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson published the first issue 25 years before the anniversary, in 1988. CBS News likewise described The Onion as beginning in Madison as a local college newspaper in 1988; its 2011 report on the digital archives says it went online in 1996.

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The Week’s anniversary selection of 10 favorite stories, by Scott Meslow and last updated January 8, 2015, is another contemporary retrospective. It is a separate selection of stories, not a substitute for a complete version of the 25-headline list.

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Why the headlines still work

The form is familiar before the joke arrives: a headline names a subject, implies a development, and reports it without visible surprise. The humor comes from the gap between that composed delivery and the ridiculous event being presented. Sometimes the target is an institution; sometimes it is a social habit or a familiar human weakness. The headlines do not need to explain the satire at length—the contrast does the work.

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