Brennan called Emily a “red flag” because, in the moment, he said he was uncomfortable when a connection faded without an explanation and was trying not to respond by running away. Later, he gave a more specific reason for his doubts: he said Emily’s comments about being ghosted, one-night stands and partying made him wonder whether she was ready for marriage. That later explanation is Brennan’s account of his concerns, not proof of an objective problem with Emily or the sole reason their relationship struggled.
What Brennan said when he called Emily a red flag
In a meal conversation previewed by TV Insider on January 3, 2024, Emily said the week had gone well since the couple moved in together and that they were finding a rhythm. Brennan praised her for making their home comfortable, saying it helped him trust the process and stay moved in. He then admitted the experience had been difficult for him.
“In the past, I would’ve just ran from a red flag,” Brennan said. Emily asked, “So, I’m a red flag?” He replied, “I mean, yeah.” He explained that it was uncomfortable to have a connection and then have it disappear without knowing why. Previously, he said, he would run when that happened; in this marriage, he was trying not to repeat that response.
In that scene, “red flag” is Brennan’s characterization of a concern he was experiencing. His immediate explanation focused on uncertainty and his own tendency to withdraw, rather than laying out a specific accusation against Emily.
#1 Best Overall
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What Brennan later said was behind his doubts
On a December 2023 Afterparty segment, as reported by Reality TV World, Brennan was asked what he had been afraid to say during counseling with Dr. Pia Holec. He said Emily had talked about being ghosted, having one-night stands and loving to party. He described wondering, “Are you ready for marriage?”
That retrospective account adds a more specific concern than the one he voiced in the previewed conversation. In the counseling clip covered in the same report, Brennan had said he did not know what was holding back his physical attraction and that it was “just not there.” He did not clearly state the dating-history concern in that counseling moment, according to the report; he described it later on Afterparty.
Rank #2
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Why the distinction matters
Brennan’s comments are evidence of how he said he viewed the situation, not independent proof that Emily was unready for marriage. In a separate Afterparty report, host Keshia Knight Pulliam challenged him for not explaining his concerns to Emily or the experts while filming. Brennan said they were not things he could “fix” and that he was not trying to change anyone, according to Reality TV World.
Taken together, the scene and his later explanation show two related but distinct points: in the moment, Brennan described a fear of an uncertain connection ending and his impulse to run; later, he said Emily’s comments about dating and partying contributed to his questions about marriage readiness. The available accounts do not establish that the later explanation was the only or definitive cause of the couple’s difficulties.
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The Season 17 context
Brennan Shoykhet and Emily Balch were paired on Season 17 of Married at First Sight, set in Denver, according to Netflix Tudum’s Season 17 guide. The guide describes Emily as an account executive who had not previously been in a relationship and Brennan as a software consultant. It also says the matchmakers viewed them as social, ambitious, adventurous and successful, with aligned values; those are the guide’s descriptions of the match, not independent assessments of either person.
The guide names Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Pastor Cal Roberson and Dr. Pia Holec as the season’s experts. Netflix’s May 30, 2025 guide said Seasons 16 and 17 were then streaming on Netflix, but that dated statement does not establish current availability in every region.
Quick Recap
Best Value
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Rank #4
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