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Brandi Carlile said she initially struggled with not carrying her and wife Catherine Shepherd’s first daughter. The couple used IVF with Carlile’s eggs, while Shepherd carried the pregnancy. Carlile later said she had made peace with her role as a non-gestational parent.
Why Catherine Shepherd carried their first daughter
In a 2021 PEOPLE interview reported by Brianne Tracy and syndicated by Yahoo Entertainment, Carlile said she and Shepherd decided they wanted children after marrying in 2012. For their first daughter, Evangeline, they used IVF with Carlile’s eggs and Shepherd as the person carrying the pregnancy. The account describes their family’s choice; it does not give a medical explanation for why they chose that arrangement.
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Carlile said she found the experience emotionally difficult at first. She was trying to understand her place as a parent while not being the one who was pregnant. Her account is about that adjustment, not a lack of interest in becoming a parent.
What Carlile meant by making peace with it
Carlile described the experience as pioneering for the couple, including because, as she recalled, there was not yet a two-mother template on a birth certificate. She told PEOPLE, “I made peace with knowing that there was some pioneering involved in what we were doing, to the point where there wasn’t even a two mother template on a birth certificate yet.”
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- Brandi Carlile is back with her 8th studio album and first solo project in four years
Her larger point was that there is no single way to grow into a parenting role. “I’m hoping people see through my story that there’s no right or wrong way to evolve into a parenting role in either heterosexual or same-sex relationships,” she said. “There are different, complicated dynamics, and there are many ways to feel. The more we talk about it and normalize it, the easier it is to understand that your parenting journey is custom. It really is your own.”
How their second daughter’s conception differed
The interview says the couple’s second daughter, Elijah, was conceived through IUI in 2017. Shepherd had struggled with IVF hormones, according to the report, and Carlile felt more confident in her parental role during this second experience. It also reports that Carlile’s childhood friend David was the sperm donor involved in both conceptions. These are details of this family’s story, not recommendations about family-building choices.
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What the interview does—and does not—say about IVF and IUI
The report gives a personal account of how Carlile and Shepherd formed their family and how Carlile came to understand her role. It does not compare IVF and IUI as treatments or provide medical eligibility criteria, risks, costs, or success rates. Those questions require reliable clinical guidance rather than conclusions drawn from one family’s experience.
For a fuller personal account from Carlile, readers can look for her 2021 memoir, Broken Horses: A Memoir.
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