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1Clear out junk files and repair common Windows errors2Fix the driver behind crashes, sound loss and screen glitches3Repair Windows errors before they cause bigger problemsJacob Hoff, who identifies as gay, and Samantha Wynn Greenstone, who identifies as straight, built a committed, monogamous relationship after meeting in a San Diego production of Fiddler on the Roof. They later began sharing their story online, where their account of a mixed-orientation marriage drew support, skepticism and questions about what their relationship means.
From theater friends to partners
Hoff and Greenstone first met while performing in a San Diego production of Fiddler on the Roof. The Washington Post reported that they felt a deep connection, but marriage was not initially on their minds. Their friendship grew, and Greenstone eventually texted Hoff to ask whether he had feelings for her beyond friendship. He did, according to the Post.
A February 2025 Modern Love episode listing describes their story as a shift from instant best friends to a romantic relationship. It also says the episode addresses Hoff coming out to his conservative family and the repeated explanations their relationship has prompted. Listen to the Modern Love episode.
How they describe their marriage
The reporting describes Hoff and Greenstone’s partnership as a mixed-orientation relationship: he is gay and she is straight. The couple’s account centers on their commitment to each other, not on treating their identities as a contradiction to be solved. The Washington Post described them as committed and monogamous; an Amy & T.J. interview listing published February 14, 2025, also characterized their relationship as monogamous and sexually active.
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Greenstone told the Post, “If anything, I think we are taking the sanctity of marriage to a whole new level.” Hoff described the public dimension this way: “We are a little different than the conventional definition, because I’m openly talking about it.”
Sharing their story—and the response
The Washington Post reported that Hoff and Greenstone had spent months creating social-media content about what they called their “lavender marriage.” The term needs context: the Post connects its history to the Lavender Scare and to marriages used to conceal homosexuality amid discrimination. In describing their partnership, the couple is also reported to use “mixed-orientation,” a more direct description of their different orientations.
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At the time of the Post’s report, social media was Hoff’s main source of income, and the two spent much of their day making videos and responding to commenters. They encountered skeptics, supporters and people who were simply curious. Greenstone said that their posts helped people in similar relationships find one another and feel less alone: “We found a whole group of people who had never heard of us before who were just like, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m in this relationship and I didn’t know that there were others like me out there!’”
The attention also brought recurring demands for explanation. The Post reports Greenstone describing commenters who wondered whether having a gay best friend meant they were in love. The couple’s public account offers their own description of their bond; it does not make their identities or relationship a puzzle for outsiders to settle.
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When they married
An Amy & T.J. listing dated February 14, 2025, says they married after eight years of dating. A Washington Post story published October 9, 2025, says they had been committed and monogamous for nearly 10 years and that they married “in November.” That wording points to November 2025, but the reviewed reports do not establish an exact wedding day.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.What the labels do—and do not—say
“Mixed-orientation” describes the fact that partners have different sexual orientations; it does not, on its own, explain the emotional or sexual terms of a particular relationship. Labels such as platonic, queerplatonic and aromantic describe other dimensions and are not interchangeable with mixed-orientation. In Hoff and Greenstone’s case, the reporting specifically describes a romantic, committed, monogamous partnership.
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Relationship therapist Joe Kort, whom the Post identifies as the author of Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?, offered a broad perspective on relationships that do not fit familiar expectations: “Maybe you’ll discover together a way to make this work that doesn’t even exist on this planet yet.” The couple’s story is one account, not a template or a statistic about how common such marriages are.
Read the Washington Post profile by Shane O’Neill for the couple’s fuller account. For another interview, see Amy & T.J.’s February 2025 episode.
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