Friends-first dating describes a relationship that starts as a friendship and becomes romantic later. Studies find this is a common way relationships begin, and some surveyed young adults say they prefer it. The explanation most often offered for young daters is that it lowers pressure and removes the expectations of a formal date. That explanation comes mainly from a 2023 dating-app company report about singles aged 18 to 25, so it is a reasonable hypothesis rather than a settled finding about Gen Z as a whole.
What “friends-first” means
Friends-first describes how a relationship developed. Two people who knew each other as friends, or became friends, eventually became romantic partners. It is not a tactic. A friendship that turns romantic cannot be guaranteed by treating someone as a friend first, and the research-style studies below measure how people say their relationships began or what they say they would prefer, not whether a deliberate approach works.
How common the pathway is
The most-cited prevalence estimate comes from Danu Anthony Stinson, Jessica J. Cameron, and Lisa B. Hoplock, writing in Social Psychological and Personality Science in 2022. They combined seven samples totaling 1,897 participants and found that about two thirds reported that their relationship began as a friendship.
That number has limits. The samples were largely North American and Western-educated, many were university students, and the data were retrospective, so participants were recalling how past relationships started. The authors also flag recall and sample constraints. The figure describes how many relationships began this way in those groups. It is not a Gen Z statistic and it is not representative of young adults nationally.
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The authors argue that the pattern has been underexamined. In their words: “Our results reveal that psychologists have largely overlooked the most prevalent and desirable form of relationship initiation.”
Is it preferred, or just common?
Common and preferred are different claims, and the evidence supports the second one more weakly. In Study 4 of the 2022 paper, which used university-age participants, 47% chose “a friendship turning romantic” as the best way to meet a partner. That is a plurality, not a majority. A separate 2024 aggregate summary from the University of Manitoba reports that most respondents in its sample preferred friends-first initiation, but it does not state the sample size or demographics, so it cannot be weighed against the peer-reviewed figures.
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| Source | Population | What it reports | What it supports | Main limit |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Stinson, Cameron & Hoplock (2022), Social Psychological and Personality Science | Seven samples, 1,897 participants, mostly students and crowdsourced adults | About two thirds say the relationship began as a friendship; 47% of university-age participants picked a friendship turning romantic as the best way to meet a partner | A common pathway, and a plurality preference among students | Retrospective recall; largely North American, Western-educated samples; not representative of Gen Z |
| University of Manitoba (2024), Preferences for Romantic Relationship Initiation: Aggregate Summary | Sample size and demographics not stated | Most respondents preferred friends-first initiation | A preference finding in an unspecified sample | Sample size and demographics not stated |
| Tinder (2023), A Renaissance: The Future of Dating 2023 | Singles aged 18 to 25 | Young singles prefer friends first because it reduces pressure and removes expectations | The company’s account of motives for the age group | Company-reported interpretation, not an independent causal study; age range does not match every definition of Gen Z |
| Survey Center on American Life (2023), “From Swiping to Sexting” | 5,055 US adults fielded December 9–18, 2022; 21 interviews with adults aged 18 to 29 (November 28, 2022 to January 11, 2023) | Young adults are increasingly dating people who were friends first | A broader US shift toward dating known people | Covers all adults and young adults, not Gen Z alone; does not explain why it happens |
| Dyck, Cameron, Stinson & Harris (2024), APS Global Psychological Science Summit poster abstract | Online sample of just over 458 people | Egalitarian beliefs correlated with greater preference; extraversion, avoidant attachment, and belief in love at first sight correlated with lower preference | Individual differences associated with preference | Abstract only; associations, not causes; no Gen Z-only sample |
Why young daters say they choose it
The clearest Gen Z-oriented explanation comes from Tinder’s 2023 report on singles aged 18 to 25. It says young singles prefer to be friends first because it reduces pressure and removes the weight of expectations. Tinder presents this as its own reading of its data, not as a verbatim quote from a named person, and it has not been independently tested.
The reasoning is plausible for a specific reason. A formal first date defines the encounter as a possible romance from the start, with someone expected to decide whether to pursue it. A friendship lets attraction develop without that label, so either person can step back without a rejection having been formally made. This is a mechanism the reports describe, not one the studies have measured directly.
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The broader US picture
The Survey Center on American Life reports that young adults are increasingly dating people they were friends with first. Its survey covered 5,055 US adults and was fielded December 9 to 18, 2022, and its interviews included 21 adults aged 18 to 29. That is useful context for a generational shift, but it does not isolate a Gen Z preference, and it does not establish that every young adult prefers this path.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Individual differences
A 2024 APS poster abstract by Katherine Dyck, Jessica Cameron, Danu Stinson, and Kelci Harris looked at who prefers friends-first initiation. Based on an online sample of just over 458 people, the abstract reports that egalitarian beliefs were linked to greater preference, while extraversion, avoidant attachment, and belief in love at first sight were linked to lower preference. These are correlations from a summary, not a full study, and they do not show that any trait causes the preference.
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What the evidence does not show
- It does not show that Gen Z as a whole prefers friends-first dating. The only age-specific preference claim is Tinder’s, and it covers singles aged 18 to 25.
- It does not show that apps caused the pattern. The studies describe how relationships began and what people prefer; none tests whether dating apps produced the shift.
- It does not show that friends-first works better. The reviewed studies do not compare relationship satisfaction or success rates between friends-first and other routes.
- It does not guarantee a romance. Some friendships stay friendships. The pathway describes what happens when a friendship becomes romantic, not an outcome that can be engineered.
How to read the next claim you see
- Check who was sampled: students, adults online, or a national panel, and what ages.
- Check whether the number describes how relationships began or what people would prefer. The two are different.
- Check whether the source is an independent study or a company’s report about its own users.
- Check whether the study measured the reasons people give, or inferred them.
The short version: friends-first dating is a common way relationships begin, a plurality of surveyed students in one study prefer it, and a dating company reports that young singles like it for lower pressure. Those findings are real and worth taking seriously, but they are narrower than the headline that Gen Z loves it.
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