Frida Berrigan let her son Seamus wear dresses in public because, in her account, the choice gave him more clothing and play options and opened conversations about gender expectations. The piece is a first-person essay published June 28, 2015, not a documentary, a clinical guide, or a controlled study. Read it as one family’s reflection, with its claims attributed to the author.
What the essay is and where it appeared
The essay, titled “Why I Let My Son Wear a Dress,” is dated June 28, 2015. It is hosted by Films for Action and credits Waging Nonviolence, which identifies Berrigan as one of its columnists. Because it is a personal essay, its authority rests on her experience and her reasoning. It does not rest on a sample, a survey, or a trial. That distinction matters for everything below.
The family story at the center of the piece
The central example is simple. Seamus chooses two dresses that had been passed down from a cousin. Berrigan says the dresses were worn, stained, and eventually snug on him. He wears them in public on occasion, and she reports that other people sometimes mistook him for a girl.
She is clear that this is her family’s experience, not a representative picture of how children dress or how adults respond. Her argument is narrower and more structural: a boy should have as many clothing and play options as he wants, and restrictive gender expectations limit those options. She writes:
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“I think there is no harm at all in letting boys wear dresses in public — in fact, maybe it can nudge our culture away from its gender rigidity.”
The essay also quotes Seamus directly, as a line his mother recalls: “I want to wear underpants and a tutu and have a Dar Williams dance party.” The quote carries most of the emotional weight of the piece. It presents the dress as play and self-expression rather than as a statement about identity.
What Berrigan says changed in her household
Berrigan reports that the choice led to conversations, both with her son and with others, and that it prompted her to examine her own assumptions. These are her reflections. The essay does not measure them, and it does not claim they would happen for every child or every family. She also says she does not infer from his clothing choice that Seamus wants to be a girl.
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One reaction she describes is people saying “What a beautiful little girl” about her son. She treats such remarks as the kind of assumption her argument is about, not as a judgment of the child.
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The essay cites a figure of 204 parents, attributing it to a study mentioned by family therapist Terrence Real. The essay does not give the study’s publication year or its original source. The original study, its methods, and its date have not been established here, so treat the number as the essay’s claim rather than a verified finding.
Berrigan also describes a case in which parents watched a video of an infant crying and were asked how to react. She reports that adults described the infant differently when they were told it was a girl or a boy. The essay attributes this sentence to researchers John and Sandra Cundry:
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“It would seem reasonable to assume that a child who is thought to be afraid is held and cuddled more than a child who is thought to be angry.”
Readers who want to cite this material should locate the original study first. The essay is a secondary account.
A second parent’s account
The Father Hood, a separate personal blog post titled “This Is Why I Let My Son Wear A Dress,” describes a father’s worry that his child might be bullied or confused. It then recounts the child’s grandfather accepting the dress. This is one individual’s story. It shows that a parent’s concern and a relative’s acceptance can coexist, but it is not evidence of how typical adults or children react.
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How to read a piece like this
The essay compares no products and no formal parenting approaches. If you are weighing a similar choice for your own child, the useful questions are the ones Berrigan’s account raises. The table below separates what the essay offers from what it does not establish.
| Question | What the essay offers | What it does not establish |
|---|---|---|
| Child’s stated preference | Seamus chose the dresses and asked to wear them. | Whether most children want the same thing. |
| Comfort and fit | Hand-me-down dresses were worn, stained, and eventually snug. | Any guidance on sizing or garment choice. |
| Dress code or setting | Mentions school dress-code organizing and safe spaces in general terms. | Any specific school policy or program that is current. |
| Parental concern about reactions | Reports mistaken assumptions and some comments from others. | How often negative reactions occur, or how children fare long term. |
| Play versus identity | Frames the dress as play and self-expression and says she does not infer a gender identity. | Any link between childhood clothing choices and later identity. |
These axes are framing for the reader. They are not findings of a comparative study.
Further reading and shopping
The one specific book Berrigan names is Christia Spears Brown’s Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue: How to Raise Your Child Free of Gender Stereotypes. She describes it as a practical resource covering topics such as parties, friendships, and television, and describes Brown as a developmental psychologist and University of Kentucky professor. Those details come from the 2015 article. Check the current edition and author biography before citing them.
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The essay mentions clothing-design companies that make children’s clothes for different sexes and body shapes, but it names none, so this article does not recommend a brand. Any clothing purchase is best guided by the child’s preference and by how the garment fits.
For documentary viewers, the essay is a useful text to pair with films on gender and childhood. It is not itself a documentary, and it should not be read as one.
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