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Chosen Family: What It Means and How It Can Support Wellbeing

Chosen family describes people regarded as family without biological or legal ties. Learn how these bonds can provide care and what research says about wellbeing.
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A chosen family is a group of people someone regards as family even though they are not connected by biological or legal ties. It can include close friends, partners, and community members; there is no fixed roster or universal definition. Chosen family may complement family of origin, rather than replace it.

What does chosen family mean?

“Chosen family,” also called “family of choice,” describes relationships experienced as family through care, closeness, commitment, shared experience, or other bonds. The people included—and the meaning of family itself—depend on the individual and context. Someone may identify with several family categories at once, including birth family, in-laws, and chosen family.

The term has particular prominence in LGBTQ+ communities, where chosen relationships can provide belonging and care when ties with family of origin are strained, rejecting, or unavailable. But rejection is not universal: families of origin can be supportive, and chosen family can exist alongside them. The National Academies’ discussion of LGBTQI+ families and social relationships provides broader context: Understanding the Well-Being of LGBTQI+ Populations.

Can friends be family?

Yes. A friendship can be part of someone’s family when that person understands and lives the relationship as family. The label does not require a particular household arrangement, ceremony, or number of members. In a qualitative study, queer and transgender young adults described chosen-family care through “navigating medical systems,” “leaning on each other,” and “mutual aid.” The study involved 11 participants in two adjacent counties, so it illuminates how care can work but does not estimate how common chosen families are: Levin et al., 2020.

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What does the evidence say about chosen family and wellbeing?

Older LGBTQ+ adults

A 2025 online survey studied 432 LGBTQ+ adults aged 50 or older. Most participants reported having a family of choice, averaging five people within that study’s sample. They described those ties as more committed and accepting than family-of-origin ties, but less stable. These findings describe survey participants, not all older LGBTQ+ adults: Cohn-Schwartz et al., 2025.

In the same cross-sectional survey, having more family-of-choice members, having a partner, and greater stability and lower negativity in those relationships were associated with better mental health. Because the study measured associations rather than establishing cause and effect, it does not show that chosen family itself caused better mental health.

LGBTQ+ refugees

A 2021 narrative analysis examined 82 YouTube videos featuring 67 LGBTQ+ refugees. In those narratives, chosen family was associated with trust, understanding, welcome, love, and commitment. The small, specific sample offers insight into these participants’ accounts, not a conclusion about all LGBTQ+ refugees: Kim and Feyissa, 2021.

Australian family definitions

An Australian Institute of Family Studies report published in 2023 found that 41% of analyzed participants included “chosen family or close friends” in their definition of family. The figure comes from the 2021 Families in Australia Survey, which was not representative of Australia’s population; the question also grouped chosen family and close friends together. It should not be read as a national prevalence rate: Budinski and Gahan, 2023.

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How chosen family differs from legal kinship

Chosen family is a description of lived relationships, not a guarantee of legal family status. A person may rely on chosen-family members for emotional or practical support, but the phrase alone does not establish legal rights, decision-making authority, or formal obligations. Those questions depend on jurisdiction and context; lived definitions of family can differ from legal definitions.

Nor is either type of family automatically more dependable. In the 2025 survey of older LGBTQ+ adults, family-of-choice ties were reported as more committed but less stable than family-of-origin ties. The findings illustrate that support and vulnerability can coexist; they are not a rule for every family.

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Further reading

Kath Weston’s Families We Choose: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship is identified in later research as a foundational work on the concept. Check current edition and availability with a bookseller or library.

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