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Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue met in 1977 when Thomas appeared as a guest on Donahue’s television program. They married in 1980. Years later, they reflected on their relationship and interviewed other long-married couples for their 2020 book, What Makes a Marriage Last.
How did Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue meet?
Their relationship began after Thomas appeared on Donahue’s show in 1977. In a later interview with CBS News, Thomas recalled that Donahue asked her on air why she had never married.
She said she had not thought marriage was right for her. As she remembered it, she worried that marriage could become “only a place for one-and-a-half persons”: one partner pursuing a dream while the other supported it. That was Thomas’s view before their relationship, as she recounted it later—not a statement about marriage in general or her position throughout her life.
When did they get married?
Thomas and Donahue married in 1980, according to the CBS retrospective. The available accounts establish the year, but not an independently verified exact wedding date.
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| Year | What happened |
|---|---|
| 1977 | Thomas appeared as a guest on Donahue’s program; their on-air exchange marked the beginning of their relationship, according to CBS News. |
| 1980 | They married, according to CBS News. |
| 2020 | AARP covered their joint book project and described them as married for 40 years. |
Why did they keep their marriage private?
In their CBS interview, Thomas and Donahue said they were reluctant to make their marriage a regular subject of interviews. They later chose to discuss it after many years together. That describes their stated approach to public conversation; it does not mean they never spoke about their relationship elsewhere.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.What book did they write together?
In 2020, Thomas and Donahue published What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets to a Happy Life. The project joined their own reflections with conversations they conducted with dozens of couples who had been married for at least 15 years.
AARP’s 2020 account says a close friend’s divorce prompted the couple to think more deliberately about their own relationship. In an excerpt adapted from the book, they described spending nine months interviewing couples across the country and called it their first project together. They also explained that they made an exception to the 15-year criterion for gay couples because same-sex marriage had not been legal nationwide until 2015; that explanation is their account of the project’s approach.
The book is a collection of personal experiences and reflections, not a representative scientific study of why marriages last. Thomas’s line in the AARP excerpt captures the spirit of the project: “We often forget we’re at our best when we’re holding the hand — and having the back — of someone we care about.”
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For another firsthand source, the Television Academy Foundation’s catalog lists a March 26, 2003 oral-history interview with Thomas and notes that she discusses her marriage. The catalog entry is a guide to the interview, not a transcript of what she said.
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