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The Saturday Night Live segment behind this headline was a Weekend Update broadcast that joked about Donald Trump’s courtroom appearances during his New York criminal trial and South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem’s account in her forthcoming memoir of shooting her dog, Cricket. Rolling Stone Canada’s William Vaillancourt reported on the segment on May 5, 2024. The lines below are satire as reported by Vaillancourt, not factual findings or verified courtroom quotations.
What Weekend Update said about Trump in court
According to Rolling Stone Canada’s report, Michael Che joked about Trump complaining that he lacked supporters in court, pointing to the police officers in the courtroom. Colin Jost then joked that Trump passed his lawyer a yellow note reading, “can’t pay you.” These were reported lines from a comedy segment; the article does not establish them as quotations from the courtroom.
How the segment addressed Kristi Noem’s dog account
Vaillancourt reported that Jost’s jokes referred to Noem’s forthcoming memoir and her account of shooting Cricket, a dog she described as “untrainable.” The report recounts Jost saying, “If a dog is untrainable, you don’t shoot it. You give it to President Biden.” That is a joke from the segment, not an independent verification of the memoir account.
The bit also featured Marcello Hernández as Cricket VII, presented as Noem’s other dog in a mock interview. Cricket VII was a fictional comic character in the sketch.
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Jerry Seinfeld’s press-tour appearance
The report also describes Jerry Seinfeld appearing as “The Man Who Did Too Much Press.” In the self-deprecating bit, he joked about the press tour for Unfrosted, his directorial debut.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.What the report establishes—and what it doesn’t
The published account identifies the segment’s targets and recounts several jokes, but it is not an official SNL transcript or a primary record of the events the jokes referenced. The report does not independently verify the courtroom details or Noem’s account. Read the Trump and Noem material as satire framed around news events, not as documentary evidence.
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