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Aidan Shaw is Carrie Bradshaw’s strongest partner on balance; Mr. Big is the defining romance, not the healthiest one. This ranking covers the four sustained relationships at the center of Sex and the City—Big, Aidan, Jack Berger and Aleksandr Petrovsky—not every shorter date. The order weighs emotional safety, reliability, respect for Carrie’s friendships and work, compatibility, and each relationship’s effect on her. Those are interpretive criteria, not an official verdict: HBO’s episode listings establish what happened, not who was the best boyfriend.
How this ranking works
The series follows Carrie’s relationships across six seasons and 94 episodes, according to HBO’s series information. Among the men considered here, the most compelling romance is not automatically the best partnership. A grand gesture or a reunion can make for a satisfying story while leaving important questions about trust, communication and mutual consideration unanswered.
| # | Preview | Product | Price | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |
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Sex & The City: The Complete Series (RPKG/DVD) | $29.99 | Buy on Amazon |
| 2 |
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Sex and the City: The Complete Collection | $54.99 | Buy on Amazon |
| 3 |
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Sex and the City: The Complete Series (Collector's Gift Set) | $106.77 | Buy on Amazon |
| 4 |
![Sex and The City: The Complete Boxset [DVD] [1998]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41iIvXKuuFL._SL160_.jpg)
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Sex and The City: The Complete Boxset [DVD] [1998] | $83.31 | Buy on Amazon |
| 5 |
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Sex And The City Movie | $5.54 | Buy on Amazon |
Each relationship is judged on the same grounds: whether the partner showed up reliably, whether Carrie could speak honestly with him, whether he made room for her friendships and career, whether their expectations for commitment aligned, and whether the relationship helped her grow or repeatedly unsettled her. This is a qualitative ranking, not a scorecard.
4. Aleksandr Petrovsky: glamorous, but isolating
Aleksandr, the Russian artist Carrie meets in Season 6, offers a romance with glamour and grand gestures. Those qualities have real appeal, but they do not add up to a reciprocal day-to-day relationship. As Carrie follows him to Paris, she increasingly adjusts to his life and finds herself separated from the friends who anchor her.
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The problem becomes unmistakable when his work takes priority and Carrie is left waiting and alone. The relationship asks Carrie to accommodate his ambitions without showing the same care for her needs. It ranks last because its romance is more convincing as fantasy than as a partnership that makes space for both people. The Paris storyline and its outcome are summarized in Netflix Tudum’s relationship retrospective.
3. Jack Berger: promising start, poor conflict skills
Berger enters Carrie’s life through her professional world: he is a novelist, and they reconnect at a Hamptons wedding before dating in Season 6. Their early connection has promise, but strained sexual chemistry and sniping expose friction rather than intimacy. His resentment of Carrie’s success further complicates a relationship in which her professional life should have been something he could respect, not resent.
Berger ends the relationship with a Post-it, an infamous delivery that is easy to treat as the whole story. It is more revealing to see it as the final sign of a larger failure: the couple cannot handle insecurity and conflict with the honesty a durable partnership needs. The breakup is memorable; the lack of a healthy way to work through their differences is why he ranks here. Netflix Tudum describes the relationship’s tensions, while HBO’s Season 6 episode listing introduces Berger as Carrie’s new flame.
2. Mr. Big: the central romance, with a costly pattern
Mr. Big—John James Preston—is Carrie’s recurring, on-again, off-again love and the show’s central romantic storyline. He appears in the pilot, but centrality is not the same as dependability. Early on, Carrie wants monogamy and clarity about what they are; Big introduces her to his mother as a friend. He later marries Natasha, then has an affair with Carrie while she is dating Aidan. Their status shifts toward friendship after that betrayal, but the series ultimately brings them back together after Carrie’s relationship with Aleksandr collapses in Paris.
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Outbyte Driver Updater FREEScan for outdated or missing drivers - takes under a minuteDriver Scan →Outbyte PC Repair FREEClear out junk files and repair common Windows errorsFree Scan →Big’s place at the heart of the story explains why viewers can regard him as Carrie’s great love. It does not erase the repeated uncertainty and hurt that precede their eventual reunion. On the criteria used here, he falls below Aidan: the emotional pull is enormous, but the relationship repeatedly asks Carrie to accept less clarity and security than she wants. HBO’s episode listings document the broader series arc, and OSN+’s early-episode descriptions corroborate the opening chronology.
1. Aidan Shaw: the strongest partner, though not the right fit at the time
Aidan, a furniture designer Carrie meets in Season 3, is the clearest contrast to Big. He is comparatively open and communicative, and he is willing to commit. That gives Carrie a steadier relationship than the one she has with Big—but steadiness alone cannot make two people ready for the same future.
Carrie’s affair with Big ends their first relationship. When she later pursues Aidan again, they move in together and become engaged. Yet Carrie panics about marriage and carries unresolved trust issues into the engagement; they break up in Season 4. Aidan ranks first because he offers the strongest combination of availability, honesty and commitment. He is not a perfect match for Carrie, and the relationship’s end matters: a healthier partner cannot compensate for one person’s uncertainty or make incompatible timing disappear. Netflix Tudum’s retrospective outlines their history and contrasts Aidan’s openness with Big’s more difficult commitment pattern.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Why the ending does not change the ranking
The finale’s return to Big gives the series a romantic resolution, but an ending answers whom Carrie chooses; it does not settle which relationship treated her best. Big remains the most consequential partner in the story, while Aidan remains the strongest choice by the standards of reciprocity and reliability. Whether a viewer values narrative destiny or relationship health more will shape the answer—but those are different questions.
Best Value
That distinction fits the show’s own framing. In HBO’s listing for the 2004 farewell special, executive producer Michael Patrick King described it as “really about love … and relationships … and sex … and basically the battlefield of trying to be in love – whether it be with another person or with yourself.” The ranking is one interpretation of that battlefield, not a claim that the series supplies an objective winner.
What about Carrie’s shorter relationships?
This list intentionally limits “boyfriends” to Carrie’s four central sustained relationships. A broader ranking could include shorter arcs such as Joe the New Yankee, political writer Ben, politician Bill Kelley and high-school boyfriend Jeremy. Netflix Tudum covers those dates too, but their shorter storylines do not carry the same narrative weight as the four relationships ranked above. Mixing them into one list would require a different scope and a separate standard for comparison.
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