Kamala Harris became a stepmother to Doug Emhoff’s children, Ella and Cole, when she married Emhoff in 2014. She has said that she and the children did not like the word “stepmom,” so they chose “Momala” instead. Harris described earning trust over time, while Ella’s later public remarks offered her own view: she remembered Harris as patient, caring, and someone who listened to her.
How Harris became Ella and Cole’s stepmother
Harris and Doug Emhoff began dating in 2013 and married in 2014, according to ABC News. Ella and Cole were teenagers when Harris entered their lives. Ella said she was 14 at the time in remarks at the 2024 Democratic National Convention.
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Harris has described the relationship as something she approached gradually rather than treating a new title as an instant bond. In 2019, she wrote that she and the children disliked “stepmom” and that Cole, Ella, and she agreed on “Momala.” Harris has said that the title means more to her than any other title she has held.
Why the family chose “Momala”
In a passage from Harris’s 2019 essay quoted by ABC News, she explained: “A few years later when Doug and I got married, Cole, Ella, and I agreed that we didn’t like the term ‘stepmom.’ Instead they came up with the name ‘Momala.’” The name reflected the family’s own choice of language, not an effort to replace Ella and Cole’s mother.
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Harris made that distinction clear when speaking about Kerstin Emhoff, the children’s mother. ABC News attributes this passage to Harris’s 2019 essay: “To know Cole and Ella is to know that their mother Kerstin is an incredible mother. Kerstin and I hit it off ourselves and are dear friends. She and I became a duo of cheerleaders in the bleachers at Ella’s swim meets and basketball games, often to Ella’s embarrassment.”
Harris also expressed how much the name matters to her at her first event as the vice-presidential nominee. As quoted by ABC News, she said: “I’ve had a lot of titles over my career and certainly, the vice president will be great, but Momala will always be the one that means the most.” She served as vice president from 2021 until January 2025; the remark belongs to that earlier period.
How Ella described their relationship
Ella offered a second perspective at the 2024 Democratic National Convention. In an excerpt published by Good Morning America, she said: “Kamala came into my life when I was 14, famously a very easy time for a teenager. Like a lot of young people, I didn’t always understand what I was feeling, but no matter what, Kamala was always there for me. She was patient, caring and always took me seriously. She never stopped listening to me and she’s never going to stop listening to all of us.”
Her account focuses on how Harris treated her: with patience, care, seriousness, and attention. It complements Harris’s description of building the relationship over time, without suggesting that every family would take the same path.
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A co-parenting relationship, not a competition
The family’s descriptions also resist reducing their dynamic to a simple “stepmom” label. GMA quoted Ella recalling a 2021 New York Times interview in which she described her mother, father, and Harris as “a three-person parenting squad.” Ella added: “They are really a unit, like a three-person parenting squad. It’s really cool.”
That description sits alongside Harris’s public praise of Kerstin as an “incredible mother” and her account of the two women becoming friends. In a family story told by its members, the emphasis is on a close relationship between Harris and the children, alongside the continuing importance of their mother.
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What “Momala” meant to Harris
Harris has spoken of the children as a central source of joy in her life. GMA identifies The Truths We Hold: An American Journey as her memoir and quotes her describing her stepchildren as “my endless source of love and pure joy.” Together with her comments about the title, that passage helps explain why “Momala” carries personal meaning for her beyond its play on “Kamala.”
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Harris’s 2019 essay and Ella’s later remarks provide family members’ own descriptions of how the relationship developed and how Ella experienced it. They do not amount to a universal guide to stepparenting, nor do they reveal every private detail of the family’s life.
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For context, ABC News cited a Pew Research Center figure from 2011 stating that 42% of American adults had a step-relative. ABC’s definition included a stepparent, a step- or half-sibling, or a stepchild. That is a historical statistic, not a current estimate.
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