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Prachi Gupta’s memoir excerpt describes how, as a teenager, she tried to fit white American beauty expectations—and how being seen as desirable by white men could feel like a route to visibility while deepening her insecurities. The personal account appeared in Scroll.in on October 9, 2024, as an excerpt from They Called Us Exceptional: And Other Lies That Raised Us.
What the memoir excerpt recounts
Gupta traces her memories of belonging and appearance through specific experiences rather than presenting a general account of Indian-American life. A temple dance performance helped her find South Asian friends. At the same time, she wanted to fit expectations shaped by white American beauty ideals.
As a teenager, she describes straightening her hair with a clothing iron and preparing to meet a white man with makeup and a sari. In the excerpt, these choices sit within a search for acceptance: she hoped that being perceived as desirable would make her more visible.
Visibility, desirability and the pressure to fit in
Gupta recalls that attention from white men briefly made her feel seen. But that attention also came with exoticizing and limiting expectations. The excerpt presents desirability not as a simple solution to feeling excluded, but as an unstable form of validation that could reinforce the pressure to accommodate someone else’s idea of attractiveness.
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She reflects that trying to fit that fantasy did not resolve her insecurity; it intensified the sense that parts of herself had to be hidden. Hair, makeup and clothing become details through which the memoir explores a larger tension between wanting belonging and feeling constrained by the terms on which it is offered.
A daughter’s reflection on what can be passed down
The excerpt also turns to Gupta’s father and her understanding of what he could teach his children about self-love in a society shaped by whiteness. She writes: “But he could not teach us what he did not know himself.” This is the narrator’s reflection on her family and her father’s own upbringing, not an independently established account of his experience.
Where to read the excerpt
Scroll.in published the excerpt as “From the memoir: An Indian-American woman on growing up with white society beauty standards” on October 9, 2024, with a permission credit to Simon and Schuster. It is drawn from Prachi Gupta’s They Called Us Exceptional: And Other Lies That Raised Us. Read the excerpt on Scroll.in.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.How to read this account
This is a memoir excerpt: it offers Gupta’s personal memories and interpretation, not survey findings or a representative study. It should not be treated as evidence that all Indian-American women experience beauty standards, desirability or belonging in the same way.
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